A Huge Leap For Anne-kind!

Yesterday morning I passed my driving test!

A life changing moment in the life of me. I can’t begin to tell you how momentous this was. It’s something I’ve dreamt of for a very long time. I failed my test a good few years ago and, because I hate to fail, I’ve buried my head in the sand ever since. Other factors in my life have held me back. Failing relationships, not earning much and so, logic convincing me that driving lessons would be a frivolous expenditure. Various situations and circumstances all lowering my self esteem and self worth, and stopping me from being determined.

This has changed.

I’ve recently gone inward and started the journey of soul searching. Driving out the bad habits and the subconscious voice inside me that’s been holding me back and weighing me down, and I feel epic!

Because, as much as I can say it was for this reason or for that, ultimately it has only been myself that’s been holding me back.

So, I’ve now been fixing things in my life and this means, fixing me. The journey is still young, but with every small step forward I feel more motivated to succeed. I know now that each of us have an amazing power at our disposal. We were born with this power. We just forgot at a young age how to use it. Well, I’m learning fast.

I love challenges and adventure. I hate boredom and my life being too flat. I’ve now took hold of that and been setting challenges for myself. When out on my bike last Summer, I found myself cycling up steep hills. I love the feeling it gives me when I reach the top. That feeling of accomplishment gives me a real buzz. It makes me feel pretty proud of myself. Yes, it’s hard work but something inside me drives me on, an inner belief that I can do it, and that I should do it!

So, if I can get this feeling from physical accomplishments, it stands to reason that the same buzz will come when I succeed in other areas of my life. With every buzz and the feeling of succeeding I get, up goes the self confidence level and belief in myself.

It’s a strange thing I realised. I’ve been very guilty of talking myself down throughout my life. Allowing myself to be too easily convinced by negative people or any negative statement made to me, and it’s been too easy to believe that I’m not worthy, whatever the situation. Yet, I’ve also realised that buried deep down inside me there’s another voice. A strength. A quiet little whisper telling me, convincing me that I can do it. I can do absolutely anything. That I’m very strong. That I have an amazing power I’m not using. This little voice has been so quiet, and drowned out by the overpowering negative voice that most of the time, I either couldn’t hear it, or I allowed it to be bullied by the negativity in me. The good news to me is though, I hear it now. The inner work I’ve been doing has already started to have an effect because now this voice is much clearer, louder and more dominant inside me. The negative voice is shrinking back, becoming a whisper which I can easily shush when it pops up. Even now when I see or think of something I want, I feel the familiar nervous feeling in my stomach instantly, and that voice inside me telling me I can’t have it. But now, straight away I’m aware of it and I tell it to shut up! I instantly tell myself, yes I can have it. I can have anything and do anything I damn well want, because I am an amazing, abundant and powerful person.

I’m changing my subconscious programme, and it feels great to be able to do it!

This is what encouraged me to start driving lessons again, and I can’t tell you how proud of myself I’m feeling in this moment.

Not only did I take the lessons. I listened to every word the instructor told me. I watched YouTube videos on Parallel parking, because this is what I’d failed on previously. My back wheel had touched the pavement and at that time it was an instant fail. I was determined to pass this time, yet there was that negative voice trying to pull me down, whispering that I might fail, that I’m a loser.

Well, I sure showed myself how to give that voice two fingers!

I passed!

I love to travel.

It’s one of my big passions in life, so with a drivers license, I now have an added sense of freedom. When I have my own car, I can go where I please, when I please and I won’t have to rely on anyone to take me, or to work out bus or train schedules.

Not a big deal you may be thinking, but if you’ve already had your driver’s license for many years, it may be something that you now take for granted. I appreciate this moment more than you could ever imagine. I love driving. I really do. When I’m sitting behind the wheel of a car with the road in front of me I feel alive. I’m really living.

Anyway, I’m now well on my way to moving to Tenerife. Another huge step in my journey accomplished.

I now have to start clearing this house and reserving my flight.

I’m planning to go at the end of September, as this will give me time to clear the house. So much stuff! Material objects that I really don’t need. Many things in this house have emotional attachment, but ultimately they’re only things, and I need to keep that firmly planted in my mind. Still, I know that it’s not going to be easy parting with some of them.

I have a pair of Adidas track suit trousers that belonged to my youngest son when he was around 6 or 7 years old. Why I’ve kept them? I really have no idea. Another son’s first shoes, scuffed and worn. Their school reports, paraphernalia from my many trips abroad. Sea shells picked from the beaches in New Zealand, a wall plaque bought in the Atlas mountains in North Africa. Everything needs to go. How this is going to happen, I still have no idea. I have no transport.

I know the Universe will provide. I have complete faith.

Tenerifé through my eyes.

I moved to Tenerifé in 1999 with my two youngest sons and my partner. I had never set foot on the island before, so it really was a huge step to make. We had friends who already lived there and had been heckling us to make the move for some time.

As it was becoming more and more difficult to make a living here on this small island, we decided to go for it.

What’s the worst that could happen, right?

We moved into a duplex on Amarilla golf. A golf course by the sea, and not too far from the South airport, Reina Sofía. My partner found work quickly and the kids spent their days playing around the pool and the golf course. We didn’t have a lot of money to spare, but life was definitely looking up.

After 4 months and at the end of Summer and the school holidays, we moved again to a Spanish village, Las Rosas. The boys went to the small, village school where they were taught to speak Spanish and I could go and find work. The public transport system is really good, so it was no problem for me and I soon found a job as a waitress. Our life was set.

Ready for school.

The boys made friends quickly. The island is multi cultural, with people from many countries, so it was great for the kids to integrate and also not feel like the only foreigners in town.

I also began making friends and soon I felt at home. Life was easy. On days off from work we would go down to the seaside town Las Galletas, just a few minutes walk down the road from the village where we lived.

We would snorkel in the rock pools when the tide was out, and see the most beautiful, colourful fish in shoals as they came right up to our face peering at us before turning tail and dashing off, quick as a flash.

We ate ice cream from the local bars and the boys would have turns on little Go Karts being rented out.

We’d also go on adventures around the island in our rented car. We rented it by the month at a pretty decent price.

We ventured up the mountainous, winding road, through pine forests and spectacular scenery to Mount Teide, the local volcano. It really is an amazing trip, and the views all around really are spectacular. On a clear day, you can see all the other Canary islands.

We sometimes came down again by a different route, never really knowing where we would end up. On these days, we visited Puerto De La Cruz, a coastal town in the north west, and a popular town with tourists. A beautiful town with some great colonial architecture, a stunning Lido for swimming, beaches and a really peaceful tree lined town square where you can enjoy a café in the shade while people watching, and enjoying watching children as they play in the little play park. All the while small, green parrots flit from palm tree to palm tree above your head.

I do like Puerto De La Cruz. It’s also home of Loro Park https://www.loroparque.com/index.php/en/ which is definitely a great family day out not to be missed if visiting the island.

One day after visiting the volcano, we found our way to Icod De Los Vinos. Another north westerly town and apparently home to the oldest tree in the world. The tree is of the type drago trees, or dragon trees.

I encouraged my youngest son to eat broccoli by telling him it was baby drago trees, and strangely it worked. He grew up loving broccoli.

It was an interesting day and the only time I’ve visited. I remember a street with caves, and local people in traditional dress, encouraging us into each cave to taste home made licquores and cheeses.

On another day we found our way to Orotava. A town high up the mountain, and as luck would have it, on the day of an annual festival where street artists made enormous, colourful and amazingly good images of biblical paintings with coloured sand.

There’s so much to see on the island, and so much more to still explore. I just can’t wait to get back there with a driver’s license and my camera.

Life was as it should be. A mixture of working to earn a living, school life for the boys and maintaining stability at home

As the years passed though, my partner sadly became more and more fond of the cheap Spanish vino, and to cut a long story short, it became too dangerous to continue living with him. For my own sanity and preservation, and of course for the safety and sanity of my sons….

The boys and I came back to Scotland.

Trying to upgrade.

I finished work at 8pm this evening, looking forward to coming home and upgrading from Blog to website.

Oh, if only life were that straightforward. Sigh.

It’s now 22.39pm and I’m no further forward. this web building malarky’s going to take a bit of investigation!

I know I can find a coupon code before I commit to pay, but none of them work. Of course we all know what will happen if I go ahead and pay without the code. Yeah, as soon as I hit pay, a new code will become available. Am I being tight? Probably. But I don’t earn megabucks and need to save a few bob where I can.

(Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated)

I’m planning on going Premium as I want to add videos to my page at some point.

I’ve given up for the night though, and so, I’ll just write a little instead. Afterall, this is the point of it all.

So, a bit more about me perhaps.

I currently work on the social media team for a well known European airline. On Facebook and Twitter. It can be fun, and it can also be a total nightmare. It’s certainly diverse.

I also take staff travel calls. This involves airline staff and their families and friends calling in to make changes to current bookings. Changing their flights and adding hold bags mainly.

The stories I could tell! But not tonight. maybe after I’ve moved away and am at a safe distance!

I’ve recently completed a training course, which now sees me as a subject matter expert in persons with reduced mobility. For the purpose of special assistance at airports you understand.

Mainly, I enjoy my work, but still I feel unsettled here. I have to leave.

I hope I’m not boring you.

In my personal life, I have 3 grown up sons who I love very much obviously, but they all have their own lives now and I must get on with mine.

I’ve travelled extensively and loved every minute of it.

I’ve backpacked around China, Peru, New Zealand, Indonesia and Cambodia. I’ve lay on stunning beaches in Thailand and Sardinia, and been stoned in the street in Marrakesh.

(Stoned, as in I’ve had big stones thrown at me by a child who put his hand out for money after I’d given the rest of my currency to all the beggars in the streets and had no more to give. Not stoned on weed!)

I’ve walked the streets of Venice many times, and found my way around New York, but I’m an island girl at heart. Cities are a curiosity for a short visit but I much prefer open spaces and being close to the sea.

Over time I’ll share my experiences of my trips with some words of wisdom and some photos.

The world is full of adventure and I’m restless to get back in amongst it.

The big day approacheth.

Hi all.

Well, I decided I’d start writing a blog as I have a life changing moment approaching in roughly 4 weeks time, and if the outcome of that is as I hope, another, probably even bigger life changing moment will follow soon after.

The first life changing experience will be passing my driving test. You have no idea just how ecstatic I’ll feel WHEN I pass! I’ve sat my test twice before, a good few years ago now and sadly failed. But, this time, this time I feel much more confident with who I am and I’m ready and determined to pass.

The second Life changing experience will be my big move back to Tenerifé in The canary islands. I need to pass my test before I move back. I’ve promised myself this and it’s a challenge I must win before the next big step. My life will be so much easier if I can drive, not to mention the opportunities that having a car will also bring. So, fingers crossed all goes well.

I’ve always felt more at home in Tenerifé than I do here in Scotland for some strange reason. I grew up here on this small island, but never really felt like I belonged. We moved here when I was very young from Edinburgh, so maybe that has something to do with it. I really don’t know, but strangely, in Tenerife I feel more at peace with myself, like I belong there. I lived there twice before for a number of years and now it’s time for me to go home.

This is just an introduction to my story as I start up this new site, so I’ll leave it here for tonight.

To be continued…..