A Huge Leap For Anne-kind!

Yesterday morning I passed my driving test!

A life changing moment in the life of me. I can’t begin to tell you how momentous this was. It’s something I’ve dreamt of for a very long time. I failed my test a good few years ago and, because I hate to fail, I’ve buried my head in the sand ever since. Other factors in my life have held me back. Failing relationships, not earning much and so, logic convincing me that driving lessons would be a frivolous expenditure. Various situations and circumstances all lowering my self esteem and self worth, and stopping me from being determined.

This has changed.

I’ve recently gone inward and started the journey of soul searching. Driving out the bad habits and the subconscious voice inside me that’s been holding me back and weighing me down, and I feel epic!

Because, as much as I can say it was for this reason or for that, ultimately it has only been myself that’s been holding me back.

So, I’ve now been fixing things in my life and this means, fixing me. The journey is still young, but with every small step forward I feel more motivated to succeed. I know now that each of us have an amazing power at our disposal. We were born with this power. We just forgot at a young age how to use it. Well, I’m learning fast.

I love challenges and adventure. I hate boredom and my life being too flat. I’ve now took hold of that and been setting challenges for myself. When out on my bike last Summer, I found myself cycling up steep hills. I love the feeling it gives me when I reach the top. That feeling of accomplishment gives me a real buzz. It makes me feel pretty proud of myself. Yes, it’s hard work but something inside me drives me on, an inner belief that I can do it, and that I should do it!

So, if I can get this feeling from physical accomplishments, it stands to reason that the same buzz will come when I succeed in other areas of my life. With every buzz and the feeling of succeeding I get, up goes the self confidence level and belief in myself.

It’s a strange thing I realised. I’ve been very guilty of talking myself down throughout my life. Allowing myself to be too easily convinced by negative people or any negative statement made to me, and it’s been too easy to believe that I’m not worthy, whatever the situation. Yet, I’ve also realised that buried deep down inside me there’s another voice. A strength. A quiet little whisper telling me, convincing me that I can do it. I can do absolutely anything. That I’m very strong. That I have an amazing power I’m not using. This little voice has been so quiet, and drowned out by the overpowering negative voice that most of the time, I either couldn’t hear it, or I allowed it to be bullied by the negativity in me. The good news to me is though, I hear it now. The inner work I’ve been doing has already started to have an effect because now this voice is much clearer, louder and more dominant inside me. The negative voice is shrinking back, becoming a whisper which I can easily shush when it pops up. Even now when I see or think of something I want, I feel the familiar nervous feeling in my stomach instantly, and that voice inside me telling me I can’t have it. But now, straight away I’m aware of it and I tell it to shut up! I instantly tell myself, yes I can have it. I can have anything and do anything I damn well want, because I am an amazing, abundant and powerful person.

I’m changing my subconscious programme, and it feels great to be able to do it!

This is what encouraged me to start driving lessons again, and I can’t tell you how proud of myself I’m feeling in this moment.

Not only did I take the lessons. I listened to every word the instructor told me. I watched YouTube videos on Parallel parking, because this is what I’d failed on previously. My back wheel had touched the pavement and at that time it was an instant fail. I was determined to pass this time, yet there was that negative voice trying to pull me down, whispering that I might fail, that I’m a loser.

Well, I sure showed myself how to give that voice two fingers!

I passed!

I love to travel.

It’s one of my big passions in life, so with a drivers license, I now have an added sense of freedom. When I have my own car, I can go where I please, when I please and I won’t have to rely on anyone to take me, or to work out bus or train schedules.

Not a big deal you may be thinking, but if you’ve already had your driver’s license for many years, it may be something that you now take for granted. I appreciate this moment more than you could ever imagine. I love driving. I really do. When I’m sitting behind the wheel of a car with the road in front of me I feel alive. I’m really living.

Anyway, I’m now well on my way to moving to Tenerife. Another huge step in my journey accomplished.

I now have to start clearing this house and reserving my flight.

I’m planning to go at the end of September, as this will give me time to clear the house. So much stuff! Material objects that I really don’t need. Many things in this house have emotional attachment, but ultimately they’re only things, and I need to keep that firmly planted in my mind. Still, I know that it’s not going to be easy parting with some of them.

I have a pair of Adidas track suit trousers that belonged to my youngest son when he was around 6 or 7 years old. Why I’ve kept them? I really have no idea. Another son’s first shoes, scuffed and worn. Their school reports, paraphernalia from my many trips abroad. Sea shells picked from the beaches in New Zealand, a wall plaque bought in the Atlas mountains in North Africa. Everything needs to go. How this is going to happen, I still have no idea. I have no transport.

I know the Universe will provide. I have complete faith.

Plummeting down enormous sand dunes on my belly, and at a frightening speed wasn’t in my Inca plan!

Since I first learned about Peru at a young age, I’d been hooked. I’d learned about the Inca, and of the great speeds and distances that they could run, their Nazca lines, tales of their Sun God and of course the Kon-Tiki expedition. All when doing a school project at around the age of 8 or 10. It enthralled me. I felt a connection with something that I couldn’t see or touch, but I just remember that it had made me feel really alive. I went into this more in an earlier blog Peru. A primal awakening.

The time to visit Peru had come. Although at a time much later in my life.

I’d backpacked around China the previous year, so I was now feeling more like an intrepid explorer, instead of a sun, sea and sand, two weeks in Spain kinda tourist. I now felt I was brazen enough to wing it around Peru.

Earlier in the year I’d also taken my youngest son to Transylvania, to visit Dracula’s castle in Bran (I know, I know. Castle Bran wasn’t actually Dracula’s castle, but it was the one used in the films, and the one my son would be most familiar with). But why bore him with facts?

That trip had really opened my eyes to how we, the masses are guided towards particular destinations, yet there are other beautiful places like Transylvania which are barely mentioned or advertised. To be honest though, this adds to it’s charm.

I remember telling a Canadian friend of mine that we were going to Transylvania, and she was amazed, asking “Is that really a place? I didn’t know it really existed!

Transylvania is stunning! To me it was like stepping into a fairy tale. If you’ve never been and could do with a bit of Wow factor in your life. Look into visiting. You won’t regret it.

But I’m wandering, this tale is not about that particular trip.

Back to topic. Peru.

I’d finally decided that now was my time to go and meet Peru.

I booked the flights

.I was going with my then fiancé, Mike (name changed). I was nervous about the trip, but obviously very excited. I avidly researched online. Planning our route and itinerary, reading about possible day trips we could go on, and looking at different hostels/bed and breakfasts in each of the places we planned to visit.

As our flight would land in Lima, this would be our first port of call. Where better to start than the capital city! We chose a backpackers hostel in Barranco. It was close to the sea and they offered an airport pick up.

I reserved a double room with a sea view.

Just to make matters even more exciting, our flight included an overnight stopover at Newark airport in New Jersey, close neighbour of New York city. How much better could life get?

I booked a room online for the night at Newark airport, and found that from there we could take a 30 minute train journey on the air train into Manhattan.

We made our way around as much of Manhattan as we could that evening, cramming in as many places as possible. I remember it was baltic cold.

Braving the cold New York winter.

Having flown there from Scotland in February, you would think we would have been accustomed to Winter conditions, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt cold like that. I honestly thought my eyeballs might freeze in their sockets while peering out at the statue of liberty and the Hudson river from the top of the Empire state building. Earlier in the evening, we’d walked through central park, to Time square and enjoyed a bit of a laugh with a local police man.

Next morning we were back on the plane and the excitement really started to build.

We were met as planned by a Peruvian chap at Lima airport. I’d noticed him standing holding a piece of cardboard with a name on it, and I eventually realised it was my name, just very badly spelled.

Soon we were in the car and on our way, driving along a coastal road to Barranco, with the Pacific ocean glimmering in the moonlight alongside us.

The moon was high in the sky, allowing our eyes to soak up everything as we passed. This was my first view of the Pacific and the temperature was thankfully so very much warmer than in New York.

I was in my element. Those tribal drums were beating louder, and my soul was dancing along to the rhythm.

I couldn’t have been happier with the choice of hostel. Our room had French windows looking out onto the Pacific ocean, and the whole atmosphere of the place was homely and friendly. If I have the opportunity to visit Peru again, I would definitely stay there.

Barranco itself, is a really nice area. There’s almost a sleepy feel to it, but there’s lots going on. Really nice cafes and bars, and one particular cafe/bar I liked used an old railway carriage as it’s kitchen area with tables and chairs on a patio for diners. This was where we first tried coca tea. A local cure all, and definitely, as we later found, the best tonic for altitude sickness.

We had great fun at the beach. We chose a beach more used by locals, rather than the one the tourists use, and it was definitely the best choice.

We also visited a small fishing village. We just happened across it when out for a wander, and we sat at a picnic type bench and ate deep fried squid tentacles in batter with french fries, elbow to elbow with some locals.

Pelicans wander and swoop around the beach, and perch on the small, brightly coloured fishing boats bobbing in the bay. I believe that Pelicans might be the Peruvian equivalent of Scottish seagulls. To me though, it was all very new and exciting and I loved seeing Pelicans like this, in their natural habitat.

From Barranco, we took a taxi into Lima and caught a coach to Ica. From there we took a taxi to Huacachina, our next stop.

When we got off the coach, we came across William. Local taxi driver, tourist guide and comedian.

William fooling around in a cotton field.

His wife worked as a receptionist in the hotel we were staying in at Huacachina and his best friend Jimmy was also a local taxi driver. William talked us in to allowing him to show us around the town of Ica the following day, and it was worth every penny. He showed us local cotton fields, gave interesting stories about some local architecture, and bought us Cuban cigars at a local tobacconist so that as tourists, we wouldn’t be charged a higher price. He was a character and I wonder if he’s still there, going through the same routine with other tourists.

Huacachina is a natural oasis in the desert. I have to be honest, despite my lifelong interest in Peru, I hadn’t even known that it had a desert! But apparently it has some of the highest sand dunes in the world, and I went flying down them on a sand board, on my belly.

Chalk the board first I was instructed. Otherwise it won’t glide.

I think I may have over chalked the board. The speed I was moving at nearly took the skin right off my face!

But it was epic! Because of my small stature, I flew down those dunes at probably twice the speed of anyone else in our group, but the adrenalin rush was amazing.

We also went dune buggy racing through the dunes. This was a crazy experience. We’d be speeding along with miles of sand in front of us as far as the eye could see, only to be suddenly jolted forward as we came to an abrupt stop. Then we could now see that actually there was a very steep downward slope, like the edge of a steep hill only a few feet ahead. This was not seen by the naked eye while riding along. It could be a very dangerous experience to the untrained driver as the dunes are constantly shifting. The driver’s experience was essential.

While staying at Huacachina we arranged a day trip to fly over the Nazca lines. It was a long drive, around 2 hours as I remember, and it was Jimmy, William’s friend who was driving us. Sadly Jimmy’s knowledge of English was next to none, but as I already spoke a little Spanish, it wasn’t too much of an issue.

The flight was fantastic, at least to me!

Poor Mike hadn’t been feeling great since Lima, and had been putting a brave face on things. We think he picked up an ear infection at the beach and he’d bought some ear drops from a local pharmacy. Now at Nazca, the extreme heat was really dragging him down and he told me later that the flight had actually frightened the life out of him!

It was a small aircraft, only six seats for passengers, and there were four of us. Another young couple and us. Throughout the flight the aircraft would bank, and sometimes quite drastically. The pilot would do this so that we could get the best view of the ancient symbols on the ground below. It was all very exciting to me, but to Mike, it was a living nightmare, I only later found.

When we were back on the ground and eventually back in Jimmy’s car heading back to Huacachina, Mike began to feel more and more ill. His temperature was rocketing, and he couldn’t even sip the bottled water I offered. He told me in panic that his throat was closing and he was struggling to breathe. .

This was now an emergency

I told Jimmy and he stepped on the gas. I knew he’d been aware something wasn’t right, but couldn’t understand any of what was being said. He phoned ahead to the hotel, who called him back a few minutes later with the address of a doctor in Ica we should go to. They’d already arranged it with the doctor to be waiting for us.

We arrived at the surgery and the doctor and his nurse came rushing out to meet us. Between us we got Mike inside and onto a bed (such as they have in a doctor’s consultation room). By this time, Mike was sweating profusely. Without exaggeration, the water was pouring off the sides of the bed and forming puddles on the floor!

The doctor questioned me briefly as to what had happened, and soon explained that he was going to inject Mike with an oil. He said that as the oil is thicker than blood, it would cause him to be in a lot of pain but after around 10 minutes, his temperature would be back to almost normal. At that point Mike’s body temperature was half a degree away from the point of no return!

I gave my consent to the injection. To this day I do not know what that was in the syringe, but I really think it should be more available. Within only a few short minutes, Mike was sitting up in bed talking again. Oblivious to where he was or how he’d got there. The bill was the equivalent of 70 GBP and it saved Mike’s life.

Soon we left again with Mike walking with my support. I was amused to hear that the doctor and his nurse had believed we were father and daughter, Mike and I. This strangely became a regular thing. We went shopping in Lima one day near the end of the holiday, and the sales assistant took the piece of clothing from me as I left the changing room and said “Papa?” She was intending on taking the piece of clothing to my father to pay for it! I’m still laughing now as I think back to the look on Mike’s face when I told him.

When we came out from the doctor’s surgery, we found Jimmy still standing there waiting for us.

I was touched.

He was so concerned. I couldn’t believe he’d waited there all that time. We thanked him before getting in the car for the drive back to Huacachina, and of course tipped him well.

When we arrived, the hotel staff had already been to our room on the first floor, taken our bags and moved them to a room on the ground floor to make it easier for Mike. They then brought him coca tea and arranged with the kitchen for chicken soup to be brought to the room. They also chapped on the door every hour for the rest of the evening to ensure he was okay. They made us feel like family.

We were supposed to be taking a coach the following morning from Ica to Arequipa, but this had to be cancelled. Mike wasn’t yet fit to travel.

We stayed on in Huacachina for another two days until he felt fit enough to move on.

Arequipa was a very short visit. The city itself is beautiful. It has some absolutely stunning architecture, which has resulted in it being more famously known as The White City. There are numerous day trips to various exciting locations, but sadly we didn’t get to experience any of them.

The hostel we had chosen was a huge let down. We weren’t met at the bus station as arranged, and the only member of staff on duty throughout our short stay was a young boy of around 14 years. The place wasn’t clean and there was one particular guest who was so threatening that we decided to leave the very next morning. We booked on a coach to Puno and scampered.

The bus to Puno climbed higher and higher in altitude, through the altiplano and up mountainous winding roads. I remember looking out the window on one particular steep bend and seeing snow on the roadside. That did not bode well! Mike enjoyed watching a movie on the bus, and it felt good to see him laughing again.

At last, after around 7 hours we arrived in Puno.

Puno is a whole new experience for anyone I’d say. This is where we saw the real Peru. It’s not touristy in any shape or fashion. Our hostel was great. Each floor was set out like an apartment, with a living area and 4 bedroom leading from it. Very homely.

However, the entire time in Puno was marred by a terrible bout of altitude sickness. My head was agony, all day and night. I honestly felt I would either die in my sleep or my head would just explode in the night. It was awful! No amount of paracetamol would touch it, and the only thing that helped was coca tea.

Puno has a great and colourful market, selling everything on earth you could possibly imagine. It’s immense, and I don’t think we managed to cover even half of it.

We stayed in Puno for 4 days. Another couple had a room on our floor. I didn’t trust them. The guy was Irish and the girl was Chilean. They were heading to Chile after Puno and tried to talk us into joining them. Mike went up to the roof terrace with them to smoke a joint and came back with seeds. \i wasn’t amused. I didn’t like the idea of him having them while we were travelling. Knowing at some point we’d be going through an airport. My fears were not unfounded! As you’ll find out.

The couple left one morning along with all the DVDs from the sitting room on our floor. We had to let the staff know about this so that we didn’t get the blame.

Lake Titicaca. Even saying the name takes me back to the school project. It’s believed that the first Inca’s emerged from the lake.

A local taxi driver informed me when explaining that both Bolivia and Peru share Lake Titicaca, that Peru has the Titi and Bolivia has the caca!

There’s a tribe of people who live on the Uros islands on the lake. They live on these floating islands made entirely of reeds. Their magnificent boats are made of reeds, their homes, made of reeds and they eat….reeds. Truly amazing to see. My only regret is that the pounding, and relentless headache detracted from the fun.

On our last night in Puno we went out for dinner. There’s a main street with lots of nice restaurants and it’s pedestrianised.

We headed there, Still with our bursting headaches. There was some sort of fiesta going on, and all the local children were spraying each other with spray foam. They didn’t spray their parents and the adults didn’t appear to be a part of it.

As we walked up the street choosing a restaurant to eat in, a young kid sprayed me with foam. This was deemed okay because I was a gringo. They found it amusing. I didn’t! I have to admit I wasn’t in the best of spirits due to the relentless pain in my head. I remember being pouty and being told off by Mike. We found a restaurant and enjoyed a meal. My spirits began to lift. I asked what he thought of the idea of tooling up with spray foam and blasting the little shits. He was up for it.

Well, what an absolutely brilliant time we had. We bought two giant cans of spray foam each and started spraying every kid we saw! They loved it! At first they were shocked that we were joining in but they soon started attacking us with foam. We ran up and down that street trying to avoid their spray attacks, and spraying every child holding a spray can that we saw. Before long, more and more parents were joining in. Soon it was pandemonium. No one was safe from the foam. Everyone in the street was running around like crazy people, ducking and diving and spraying each other. Everyone looked like big white blancmanges. It was hysterical.

Eventually it got late and with tears of laughter still in my eyes, we made our way back to the hostel to collect our belongings before heading to the bus station for our overnight bus to Cusco.

While walking, I realised my headache had completely disappeared, and so had Mike’s. To this day that was one of the best nights of my life.

Overnight bus to Cusco.

We’d walked to the bus station earlier that day to buy our bus tickets. I remember things were a bit frosty between us, no doubt due to the altitude head agony we were both experiencing. Mike wasn’t comfortable about walking in this part of town. We had to walk along a long street that was lined with mechanics workshops. Nothing else, and on both sides of the street for it’s full length, that’s all there was. Guys busy banging on vehicle exhaust pipes and welding things. I found it quite interesting and didn’t feel in any way threatened.

We reached the bus station and I remember there were a number of different kiosks all advertising buses to Cusco with various prices. Mike told me just to choose one, as I stood there pondering which one to go to. I went to a kiosk advertising a bus priced at $5. I was intrigued. “Surely that can’t be right?” I remember thinking. But sure enough, I bought the tickets and they were $5 each.

We arrived that evening for the bus.

Have you ever watched a movie where there was a bus in some distant country going from one city to another, and local people are all piling on with chickens and goats, sacks of goodness knows what, and boxes of fruit and vegetables etc?

We were on that bus.

I sat in my seat on the bus as more and more people piled on.

Local ladies with huge sacks strapped to their back, struggled along the aisle and had to hop over children that were lying on the floor. In the aisle!!

People were having to step over them as they carried their goat to their seat at the back of the bus. I stood up at one point to help this larger lady as she fought her way along the aisle stepping over children and balancing a chicken under one arm. She had a really big red scarf strapped to her back full of…something. I lifted the red sack a little higher, trying to help with the weight of it and to lift it slightly, so allowing it to pass over the top of the seats. Then I felt something inside move. A small human leg fell out the side.

There was a child in there!

It was a very interesting night, and probably the best $5 I’ve ever spent!


Beautiful Cusco. The Lion city, as it was known by the Incas.

Cusco is Peru’s ancient capital. It’s a shame it isn’t any longer. Nothing at all against Lima. I loved Lima. Honest! But Cusco for me holds the very essence of Peru.

We’d booked our train tickets from Cusco to Machu Picchu before even leaving Scotland. Our 4 nights in Barranco and our Machu Picchu tickets were the only two things we’d booked in advance.

Oh the disappointment we were soon to face.

We had a print out of the purchase we had made online for the tickets, and we were to take this to the train station in Cusco when we arrived, to receive our actual tickets.

This we did.

We made our way through the town and found the train station, excitedly anticipating our journey, only to find that the local farmers were protesting and the train for that day was cancelled!

Horrified is an under statement. But, we were able to go the next day, so we sat in the town square with a big Cuban cigar to drown our sorrows.

We decided that this would be a good opportunity to walk up to Sacsyhuaman. An absolutely mind boggling site. The enormity of the stones used to build this temple is astounding. How they were carried up to the site is completely incomprehensible.

Train to Mach Picchu.

The big day arrived. This would be the highlight of my life and the train trip in itself was to be an absolute delight.

Travelling through the Andes on a steam train with a glass roof. I just couldn’t wait.

It didn’t disappoint.

What a journey. Passing towns and villages along the way. Locals lining up at every stop, and even at points when the train had to slow down, offering up foods for purchase at the train windows. It was an awesome trip.

We arrived in Machu Picchu town, or Aguas Calientes in heavy rain fall. A girl was there to meet us with a huge umbrella and to take us to our hostel.

The view from our room

We crossed the wooden bridge that crosses the rapid river Aguas Calientes to the other side of the small town. The hostel was nice enough, no complaints, but there was some confusion over our booking as we’d been supposed to arrive the day before. It turned out fine.

We were shown to our room and Mike wanted to rest for a while. He made tea, and then another, and then another. Can you imagine my state of mind at that point? All I wanted to do was to get outside and explore. To experience being there, in that place. In the end he lost his temper, and I ventured out alone.

I found the ticket office that sold entry tickets to Machu Picchu and enquired about the bus times up the mountain for the next morning. I was given the times, but also advised that I might prefer to walk. The girl told me that the walk up through the Andes early in the morning is spectacular with lots of birds and wildlife.

I decided that that’s what I would do.

When I went back to the room, there was no Mike. This wasn’t unusual. I knew he’d be off looking for booze.

He returned much later, drunk.

I set my alarm for 5am and went to sleep, ignoring him.

The walk up to Machu Picchu the next morning was as promised, spectacular. The scenery was, well, unexplainable really. I can see it in my mind, but to try to put it into words. I don’t think that I can.

It was, as I say, simply spectacular.

I felt spirits in the air. It felt like every peak was alive. Like every mountain I could see was watching me, was aware of my presence. Trust me, I know it sounds bizarre, like I must be some sort of hippy freak, but no, I’m you. Just a regular person, but there was nothing regular about those mountains. The whole experience of that walk was nothing short of surreal.

Just look at my photo of Machu Picchu in my previous post “Peru, a primal awakening” Does the image of the mountain not seem like a spirit? Like it’s holding out it’s arms protecting the buildings below?

That’s all I see when I look at it.

I walked up through the mountains and eventually reached my destination. I’d made it. It was a beautiful sunny morning. The rain clouds had cleared away from the night before, and the sky was fresh and blue.

The views were breathtaking and yes, there were birds everywhere. I was walking in heaven.

I meandered through Machu Picchu alone. I’d left Mike snoring in bed. After his behaviour the previous evening, I wasn’t letting him ruin this day for me. He could make his own way up there, just as I had done. I knew we’d meet up later at some point. We were booked on the train back to Cusco that evening.

I wasn’t quite sure which direction to head in when I first arrived. I had a map, but wasn’t sure of which route to take. In the end, I made the very intellectual decision to just follow the electric blue butterflies that were fluttering around me everywhere I went, making me feel a bit like Snow white.

So this is what I did. I walked in the same direction as the butterflies, and I let them guide me.

So many beautiful Llamas. They were everywhere, and quite tame. I over indulged with the photos.

I met this guy. He was young, far too young for me. Probably in his early to mid twenties, and I didn’t even think of him in “that way” but he was absolutely stunning to look at. Tall, slim, tanned, piercing eyes and shoulder length blond, wavy hair. Dressed in knee length shorts and a T shirt. Not unlike a surfer type dude.

I was so taken by how handsome he was that I wanted to ask if I could take his photo, but I didn’t. I later wished I had.

He just started chatting to me, and asked if I was there alone. He told me that he was. He didn’t seem in any way creepy. I know it may have read that way. Asking if I were there alone, but he seemed warm and friendly. He was just chatting and being sociable.

We decided to walk to the Inca bridge together.

We started to walk along the narrow path, and met a good few people coming back. The path had been too narrow for them, being on the edge of a steep cliff and they’d chickened out and turned back,

We carried on. The path was very narrow in parts, having eroded away, and being on the edge of a mountain, it was quite startling looking down. Thousands of feet down! We kept going,

When we got to the end of the path we saw the Inca bridge. We stood there looking at it in wonder and discussed how impressive it was that the Inca people had built Machu Picchu city by carrying everything necessary along that narrow mountainous path and over the Inca bridge. All the huge rocks needed and all tools. It really is remarkable. I took a couple of photos and carried on talking, but when I turned around he was gone. Completely gone!

I looked all around.

It’s difficult to describe the location where we stood. The narrow path we had walked along led to this small clearing. In front of me there was a sheer drop and across the mountain was the Inca bridge. There was nowhere he could have gone. I’d only heard his voice seconds before and there was no way he could have made his way along the path again and out of sight before I had turned around. Why would he have done that anyway without even a goodbye? He just vanished into thin air, and I’ve told very few people this story.

The very narrrow path to the Inca bridge

He might have been an angel? Or a ghost perhaps.I made my way back along the path, looking all the way in the hope of catching sight of him, but I never saw him again.

I spent the rest of the day taking photos, many of Llamas, and just breathing in the air. I walked across every inch of the ancient city, marvelling at the very notion of being there.

Eventually I began the descent back down through the Andes to town.

I strolled through the market area and crossed the bridge. I remember being lost in my own thoughts as I walked, but something made me look up. A man and woman were walking toward me. crossing the bridge but in the opposite direction. The man looked at me with a strange expression. I dropped my eyes. The woman was white, but he was native. Peruvian I assume. His face though. I don’t know why he looked at me in that way… Surprised. We passed each other, but I had to look back. It was a bit confusing. He was looking back too. I kept walking.

I can still see his face. I could point him out in a line up if asked, and I saw him for only a couple of seconds. Ten years ago.

Isn’t life odd at times?

i was sitting on the train now, and starting to worry that Mike would miss it.

He arrived, and plonked himself down in the seat opposite me, drunk.

Sacrilege to come to a place like this and get wasted, I thought. But each to his own.

We spent another couple of days in Cusco and then decided to fly back to Lima to spend our last few days sunning ourselves on the beach. This time we decided to stay in Miraflores, another part of Lima.

Going through the security area at the airport was an experience I’ll never forget.

It seems that it’s quite common for men carrying drugs to allow their woman to carry them, believing that she won’t be searched by security guards!

I was surrounded. My bag was taken apart. My underwear and personal items were scattered across the desk as four men with rifles stood over me.

“You like to smoke?” One asked me, smiling.

“No” I looked at him straight in the face, answering as sincerely as I could.

“Are you carrying anything you’d like us to know about?”

“No” I replied. Again as sincerely as my face could muster.

I was honestly crapping myself as Mike sat on a chair un-harrassed and not surrounded by men with rifles and leering faces.

They let me go. They had no choice as they found nothing. There was nothing to find.

Mike and his bloody seeds. I found that it’s not illegal to carry seeds, but his having them obviously raised suspicion. They would have been seen on the scanners.

Strangely enough, we’re not together any more.

We did remain friends though.

There’s so much of Peru that I didn’t manage to see. Three weeks is a good amount of time to cover a good distance and see many things, but to also visit the north of the country, I would have needed around six week I reckon.

It was a fantastic adventure and I hope I’ll get the chance to go back some day and do it all again.

Peru. A Primal awakening.

My connection with Peru began as a school project when I was around the age of 8 or 10 years old. My memories of the project itself are faded, it was a long time ago, but the feelings it had stirred in me have lasted a lifetime.

I didn’t know why, nor did I understand why learning about the Inca people, their Sun God and the Kon-Tiki expedition captivated me in the way that it did. I wanted my whole day in class to be spent on this one project, but of course the time we spent on any particular subject was limited. I remember sitting in class fuelled with anticipation, and willing the words to come out of the teacher’s mouth. Words that would tell us that we would now work on the project.

All I really remember is the emotion. Of being completely engrossed. Of feeling connected with something that I can describe now, but couldn’t then, as making my heart dance.

The years passed, and the project faded from my mind, but whenever the word Peru was mentioned for whatever reason, my ears would perk up, and again, there it was. That feeling coming alive inside me. Like a familiar vibration, or the distant echo of a tribal drum, somewhere out there in the ether, resonating with something inside of me, something deep in my soul. It was almost as if while learning about Peru at that young age, something had sparked to life inside me, as if it had added something, or awoken something in my DNA. A spiritual awakening. But of course, as a child I had no concept of this.

So, as I was saying, the years passed. I’m now 21. Already married with a baby son.

I remember this particular morning as if it only happened last month, of waking up one morning after having a very vivid dream. I remember still sitting in bed and telling my husband all about it. How I’d been sitting on the edge of a high mountain with my feet dangling over the edge. The Sun was high in the clear, blue sky. It was a glorious day and there were mountains all around me. I can see it now, over 30 years later, like a fond memory. Like I was actually there, and had really experienced it.

I tried to explain to him the happiness I had been feeling inside me. A happiness I’d never experienced before. A level of happiness I had never known existed, or was possible. I remember using the words euphoric, and euphoria. I don’t think I’d ever used these words before, but in that moment, they’d come to me as being the only words that would come anywhere close to describing the feeling I’d had in that dream. I also remember telling him quite bashfully, that I had known in the dream that I was in the one place on this earth that was the closest to God! I said it bashfully, because I had never been a religious person, and didn’t really believe in God. But in the dream, this is what I had felt. In fact not felt. This is what I had known!

It left me feeling confused. It didn’t make any sense!

Haunted by the dream, I began sketching drawings of the mountains where I’d sat. I didn’t want to forget this.

I remember showing my husband a drawing I’d sketched. One I was happy with. One which I felt portrayed the closest image of where I had been in my dream. He showed interest, but of course, it didn’t really mean anything to him. It had only been a dream after all.

More time passed. A few months.

I remember sitting at home, on the sofa with a coffee, browsing through a Thomsons Holiday brochure. It was in the days when the brochure included all types of holidays that the travel agent offered in one brochure. This included skiing holidays, Winter sun, Summer sun, Beach holidays, City breaks and Far away places etc. It was a thick catalogue! Later, they divided them into separate brochures.

We’d decided to look at the possibility of going abroad on holiday as a family. It would be our first holiday abroad. So, there I was, sitting browsing the pages, casually turning them one by one until I finally turned a page and almost choked! My heart started to race, and I think my eyes almost popped out of my head! There in front of me was a photo of the exact place I had been in my dream.

Those mountains, the scenery, that vista! It was Machu Picchu.

In that moment I felt I was looking at something unworldly. A ghost. A haunting! It made me feel so creepy that I snapped the brochure shut.

When my husband came home from work and I started excitedly telling him, and showing him the photo, he just insisted that I must have seen the place before somewhere. Well, of course, I must have. When I had been so engrossed in the school project about Peru all those years before, Machu Picchu must have been included. But at this point in my life, I had no memory of that, and it still could in no way explain the emotions I had felt while I’d been there. There in the dream.

It was quite clear by his tone that it wouldn’t be something to carry on being discussed.

More years passed.

I went on to have another two sons. We holidayed in France, Spain and Venice, Italy. Mostly Venice, because, Why wouldn’t we? It’s a wonderland of culture, history, mystery and beauty. To this day I love visiting Venice. As a young family, we had great times there, but still, deep in my heart I knew that one day I was destined to visit Peru. I had no idea how it would happen. We weren’t in any way wealthy, we saved for our holiday, and Peru wasn’t exactly somewhere I could go with three young children. It would’ve cost the earth, or a small fortune at least.

At that point in my life it was easier to see it as more of a fantasy in my heart and mind, rather than an ambition.

Eventually, and a good few years later, my husband and I divorced. I have no bitterness. We have three fantastic sons, and for that reason I have no regrets.

Time moved on.

After my years of living in Tenerife, and returning to Scotland, I ended up being in a relationship with a like minded, adventurous soul. We’ll call him Mike for this tale.

Our relationship was a roller-coaster ride of highs and lows, but one of the things I loved about him, was that I could say to him….Fancy going to China? Or Cambodia, or Indonesia, and he’d always reply with words like, Great idea babe. When can we book? Or Hell yeah, let’s do it! He was always “up for it” so to speak.

And we did visit those places, and more. We trekked and backpacked across and around some of the most fantastic locations on the planet. Booking the flights online, and then just booking hostels or bed and breakfasts, and onward travel as we went along, while abroad and in the country we were travelling around. We had some great adventures, and I value those times. I would probably never have done it without him, and vice versa. We were destined to meet, if only for that reason alone.

One year though, late in the year of 2008, I had the intuitive, but scary notion that it could be time to go to Peru!

The very thought of it unsettled me. There aren’t many things in this world that frighten me, but I remember it worried me deeply. This had been a dream, in every sense of the word for so many years of my life. What would my life be like if I no longer had a dream? If I fulfilled my lifelong ambition, and the mystery was solved? What if I was left disappointed, having built it up so highly in my childish memories and emotions?

But despite my sleepless nights, I booked the flights!

To be continued…….

Create the life that you know you deserve.

Firstly I’d like to thank you and congratulate you for taking the huge step forward and choosing to vastly change and improve your life.

I believe that you’re reading this right now because somewhere deep down in your soul you’ve always known that you deserve so much more from your life. You know that life isn’t supposed to be difficult. It isn’t supposed to be an epic struggle to move from one pay cheque to the next, and that you should still have at least a few pounds or dollars left in your bank account at the end of the month, instead of worrying about how your going to make ends meet before your next pay drops into your account.

Or, that meeting someone you can connect with, where there’s a mutual attraction shouldn’t be that difficult, or maybe that when you’re in a relationship, love shouldn’t be a mine field of arguments and mistrust. Love is or should be just that right? Love! Caring for each other for mutual benefit.

You might be asking yourself why it is that when you look around, other people seem to be strolling through life without any major disasters. Everything seems to be so much easier for them. Okay, nobody’s life is perfect. You realise that, but why is it that you just can’t seem to get a break?

You’re a good person right? You get up in the mornings and you go to work, you pay your bills, you do everything that you’re supposed to do, but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get ahead, or break free from that constant daily grind.

So you’ve now reached that point where you’re so fed up of waiting for things to change.

But you just don’t know what you can do to make your life as easy as you know it should be, or for you to live the life that you know you were born to live.

Well, today you’ve come to the right place! You’ve turned that corner.

Take a second right now to sit back and shake off some of that stress you’ve been feeling. Go on, get in a comfortable position. Now rest your head back, breath in deeply and breath it all out. Take another few slow, deep breaths, and exhale completely until you feel more relaxed.

I’m going to share with you some knowledge on why life has become a struggle, and how you can tap into the energy that will bring you everything you’ve always dreamt of.

Believe it. All you’ve ever dreamed of is out there waiting for you.

Wealth, true love, inner happiness, the means, and the ability to travel to all those exotic destinations that you’ve always wanted to visit. It’s all available to you and always has been. You just need to believe in yourself more. Think about that phrase as you continue reading “Believe IN yourself”

Life has taught you to believe from an early age that you aren’t worthy! Well it isn’t true. You ARE worthy!

Can you imagine never having to worry about money, being able to eat in nice restaurants without having to think about the cost, driving that car you’ve had your eye on but never thought it could be yours, having a personal trainer to get you to that fitness level you know you should have?

Whatever it is in life that you believe should be yours. You can now make it a reality. Your reality.

In fact, anything that you desire in life can be yours, and easily, with just a little bit of inner work on your part. I’m not saying that you’ll wake up tomorrow and your whole life will be different. It will take a bit of time, but you should start seeing changes in a short time. Sometimes almost instantly. It’s all to do with how you view yourself, and what is outside of yourself.

All that’s required is the understanding that you were put on this earth to be abundant. That you are a powerful energy and the Universe is there to serve you. This is a fact that no one can deny. Our ancestors knew it, the Bible states it, but we’ve lost the art in this modern world.

If we can make this happen I hear you ask, then why don’t I have it already?

Well, lets start at the beginning of your life here on Earth to see how things work.

Our subconscious program

On the day you were born, you came screaming into this world, a tiny, cute bundle of energy. Your parents loved you immensely I’m sure, and through those first months you cried, you were fed, and you were pampered and adored. Everything that you needed, you received. So, no complaints there.

You began to grow, and of course to learn. To walk, to talk, to socialise. You learned skills and everything that you needed to survive from those closest to you.

For you it may have been a happy childhood, or there may have been some sad experiences. You might look back and see that your parents did everything that they could for you, or you may have had a difficult upbringing. We all have our own unique story.

The one big thing that we all have in common, is the fact that we were all born with a subconscious mind.

The subconscious mind is extremely powerful, and this has been your setback.

The subconscious mind is working in the background every minute of every day, while you’re awake and also while you’re asleep. This has been true since your birth.

As a baby, you didn’t yet have conscious thoughts, your conscious mind was empty, a clean slate so to speak. Your subconscious however, soaked in everything that was happening around you. For those first months and for the first seven years, you absorbed everything that you heard, saw, smelled, touched and felt, and this is how your belief system developed. Everything, and I mean everything that you encountered in those first seven years of your life, created the program that you live by today.

Perhaps there were times when your parents struggled for cash. Were you perhaps aware of them arguing, or worrying about bills that needed to be paid. Were there ever times when there was a decision to be made about whether to pay this bill or that? Was money ever a worry in your household?

Was there a time in your young life when you felt that no one listened to you, perhaps you felt uncared for, that no one was noticing you, or considering your feelings? Were you ever bullied in school? Did your brother or sister make fun of you? Everything that you encountered in those early years formed your belief system about who you are, your self worth, and this determines how you go through your life as an adult.

Feeling unworthy, a fear of failure, lack of trust, a disdain for wealth. All setbacks in adult life that were absorbed during early childhood.

This world has an infinite amount of abundance, and all we need to do is believe in our hearts that we can reach out and take it.

So many of us go through life believing that we’re only worth a certain amount. That we don’t deserve love and happiness, that we can only earn a certain amount of money, and that we must work hard to earn a living.

It may even be that you have a deep rooted belief that money is the root of all evil. That rich people are selfish, only thinking of themselves. These thoughts can be absorbed without realising the impact. If these thoughts were picked up by you as a young child, then this could be holding you back today.

It may be that you’re shaking your head as you read this, saying no, that’s not how I think. But, somewhere in your subconscious these beliefs have been formed at a young age. It may only have taken one instance. One encounter that planted the seed.

As an example, ask yourself this…Why do you eat the foods that you eat on a daily basis? Do you 100% like all of them? Is it truly your choice that you have the eating habits that you have?

Listen to your body. Your inner voice will tell you what your body wants and needs. I’m not saying eat only healthy foods, although obviously that would be a great way to go, but I’m just asking that you pay more attention to your inner voice. Slowly, day by day you’ll begin to take more control of what you feed to your body and mind. This is the first step to mindfulness. Of paying closer attention to your thoughts and behaviours.

I stopped eating red meat when I focused on this thought. I realised that I’d never really enjoyed eating meat. It had just become a habit throughout my life since childhood. It was just the way it was. Each meal brought meat and two veg’ and it was never questioned. I’ve never looked back since giving it up. It’s been around 12 years now and I can honestly say that it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Of course this is just my personal preference, but what in your life are you still doing routinely that has been a habit from childhood? And, does it serve you well? Take time to question yourself over this. You may be surprised by what comes up.

Try to go through your day being more self aware. Pay more attention to your behaviours and see how you could possibly cut out habits that are more detrimental than beneficial to you.

Do you have negative thoughts about the people in your life? At work, at home, your friendships?

This is also a bad habit developed over time. Try to look at people in a different light. Each of us has our own story, as we journey through life, and there are reasons why we are the way we are. Try to imagine what life is like for that person. The daily struggles that they might have, and remember that they too have developed life long habits that may not be serving them. Being more aware of your views of others will help you understand more about how your subconscious mind is controlling you. Take back control! Be more self aware.

This is the good news though, the fact is that you can change these habits that no longer serve you. Just as you can reprogram your subconscious and begin living the life you were put on this earth to live. A life full of happiness and abundance, and you can start making these changes today!

Whether you choose to believe it or not, we humans are an energy force. Everything that exists in the Universe is made from the same energy, and this energy flows through and around us all of the time. We are part of it and are connected with it. This energy force is infinite. The abundance it supplies is infinite. The happiness and love it supplies to us is infinite.

But the majority of us just aren’t aware of this. We’ve been programmed to focus our energy on things that don’t serve us.

Hard work.


Negative moods.

Feeling unworthy.

Feeling undeserving.


We should never give in to acceptance!

Acceptance becomes a part of daily life. So much so that we haven’t even noticed it’s existence in our lives. Everyone around us does the same things. We all get up, go to work, that we mostly don’t enjoy. A job that takes from us more than it gives, that steals our energy and allows us limited free time. A job that for most of us, barely covers our bills. That exhausts us mentally, emotionally or physically, so that by the time we go home to our family, we often have to fake the smile we put on our face to greet them. Is this the life we were born for? Does this breed happiness and contentment?

Most definitely not!

But when were we taught acceptance?

Well let’s think back to our school days. How were the rebels or the outsiders thought of and treated in school? Were they cheered and honoured for their individuality? Was their uniqueness encouraged?

Was individuality or uniqueness in any way seen as a positive thing?

No, acceptance was learned early.

Being part of the herd was the easier way to survive, and was actively encouraged. If you weren’t part of the herd, you were an outsider, and most kids struggle with that.

Individuality and being unique is what makes each of us who we are! Be unique, be weird, be yourself. Be happy!

So let’s now look at our lifestyle today.

The pros and cons of modern technology

You only have to switch on the TV and within a very short space of time you’ll witness so much negativity and drama. Everywhere you look there it is, negativity and drama.

I personally turned my back on TV years ago. I watch some shows and movies online from time to time, but mainstream TV? Not for me. I never watch the news, and you know what? I’m still alive! It hasn’t affected my life in any way, other than making me happier and more at peace with myself.

The technology that we spend so much of our money on, and so much of our time on keeps us vibrating at a low frequency. We’re all energy, and we do vibrate.

So, it’s a simple law…..

When you’re happy, you’re vibrating at a higher frequency and will attract more of that vibration to you.

When you’re in a negative frame of mind, you vibrate at a lower frequency, and the same applies, you’ll attract more of that energy to you.

So what frame of mind should you practice being in more?

On the other hand, there’s no doubt that modern technology really is a wonderful thing, it enables us to do so many cool things, like communicate with friends that we would otherwise have lost touch with, through Social media sites. To write blogs and share our thoughts with the world, as I’m doing right now. To make and receive payments through online banking. The list is endless. The point is that it’s a tool and it should be used in that way. So many of us have allowed the higher powers to use it as a tool that uses us!

Our android phones is a good example. When we were young, we watched movies about a time in the future when there would be robots in the world for us to have as a personal slave. Well, the time is here, but who is the slave? The android to us, or us to our android device?

There are far too many people today that can’t have a conversation without constantly checking their mobile phone. Too many children are lacking attention from their parents because they’re glued to a screen.

But, we can also learn anything about anything by simply typing a few words into Google and other search engines, and it’s right that we should make great use of this, but we’ve allowed ourselves to be duped into believing that the fancy, latest TV, the most up to date mobile phone, and the computers and laptops we use daily are serving us. Mostly, they’re not. How many of us write by hand these days? Our children could lose this art completely.

We’ve become slaves to our devices.

How much time each day do you spend staring at a screen?

Think of your friends and family. Don’t they do the same?

Time that could be spent playing with and enjoying our children, spending time out in the fresh air socialising with our friends in the flesh, doing sports. Enjoying life! is spent staring at a screen.

Is it mere coincidence that we’re all guilty of the same thing? Think of the benefits this brings to the higher powers. If we’re all in our box staring at a box, shaking in our boots because the stuff we’re staring at is reminding us constantly of how frightening and dangerous the world is. Wouldn’t we be so much easier to control? Wouldn’t our minds be so focused on negativity and self doubt that we’d be less likely to focus on and stand up to how they’re running things?

Now think about the news on TV. How often do we see or hear about good news stories? Not often enough I hear you say.

It’s all designed to keep us resonating at a lower frequency.

We all resonate at a certain vibration. The higher the vibration, the happier we are and the more positivity we attract into our life.

You’ve heard the age old sayings…Like attracts like. What you put in you get out. What goes around comes around, and so on. Where did these sayings come from? Were the ancients more wise than us?

Did they know the power of the subconscious? Why didn’t our granny tell us this stuff?? I remember well a saying that was said to me often when I was child. “There’s no such word as “can’t” I only wish I had questioned that more. I never understood it, and as a child I’m sure I just sulked, being made to do something I didn’t want to do. But now I know that really, it’s true. When we say we can’t, what we’re actually saying is that we won’t. We can do anything. We just need to want to enough.

There’s no word for can’t in the Spanish language, or for any negative. they simply put the word no in front of the word.

I can = puedo. I can’t = no puedo.

The fact is….

Our subconscious beliefs keep us resonating at a particular frequency and nothing will change in our life until we take control of that belief system and kick it’s butt! We need to actively and consciously change our basic program.

Be sociable. When buying some shopping. Getting outside in the fresh air, meeting your neighbours in the street, chatting with the guy who works in the local grocery store, catching up with the latest updates on how the couple who recently moved in along the road from you are getting on. This all helps raise your vibration, and is definitely far better than shopping online, alone.

Technology’s great when we’re using it to serve us. But when we allow it to isolate us and to cut us off from humanity, we have to then take steps to re-evaluate.

What we give out, we receive. If we give out negativity, or resonate at a low frequency. It’s the natural law of physics that this is what we will attract back to us. Something very important to imprint on your belief mind set.

So, on that note, let’s think for a minute about the days when for no apparent reason, everything goes well for us. Why is it that we can’t remain that way?

Those days when you feel great, where it seems you can’t put a foot wrong. Everything’s easy and things just seem to go right for you. Why is it that this doesn’t last? All too soon you’re back to normal. Struggling, feeling like everything’s hard work and there’s no explanation of why it changed?

It’s simple. Your subconscious program dragged you back into your reality. Your subconscious was like, Hey! This isn’t how things are! This isn’t in the program.

Your subconscious doesn’t like being out of it’s comfort zone and will soon change your vibrational frequency back to the normal rate. It will only allow you to live your life according to the inbuilt program.

So, reset your program!

You see it doesn’t need to remain that way for you. You can teach yourself to reprogram your subconscious mind, to reprogram the way your subconscious resonates, and I’m going to help you to start doing that right now.

I know you’ve probably heard it so often in the past, and I’m sorry but I’m going to repeat it….


I know, I know, you’ve tried it and it doesn’t work for you. You just can’t do it, right? It’s boring. You’re too busy. You can’t relax. This is all part of your programming!

But, to help you, the thing that most people haven’t mentioned before is that we all have our unique way of meditating.

Meditating is basically just a way of quietening the mind. Of shutting out the multitude of thoughts that run through your head, just for a few minutes.

You could try it by sitting on the floor crossed legged saying OOMMMM over and over.

Or it could be you lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling and focusing your mind on an image of yourself as you lie on an airbed, floating in an aqua blue pool, with the sun beating down on you, and the sound of children giggling with laughter as they play in the sun in the background.

I like this image.

It could even be you staring at a rose in a vase on your table, and focusing on each petal in turn, each thorn and leaf, and taking note of each different colour or hue on each of the petals.

It doesn’t matter. Medidating is focusing your mind on one particular thought only, so make it one that you enjoy.

It’s all about what works for you. It’s about shutting off the multitude of thoughts that run through our mind every minute of every day.

It’s about finding one thing to focus on that will allow those thoughts to be silenced for a minute, or two minutes or even 30 minutes. As you practice it more, your ability to do it will strengthen.

When you close off the noise in your head, you’re meditating.

The reason meditation is important is because it trains us to take back control of our thoughts. To take back control of our mind! It teaches us to focus only on what is in front of us. Right here, right now. In this one moment, because really, this one moment is all that exists. The past has gone and the future doesn’t exist yet. There is only right here, right now.

Our subconscious mind runs wild. Throughout the day our thoughts are scattered and random. Really, we should be exhausted with the amount of thinking our minds do every hour of every day. Is it any wonder we get nowhere?

As an example, try to be aware of the short time you can stay focused on any one thing throughout your day without your mind wandering. During a conversation with a loved one or work colleague, how many times have you lost track of the conversation and not wanted to admit it? You’ve just nodded or shook your head at what you hoped was the right moment and then felt a bit guilty. Not knowing why your mind wandered off.

Even while reading this your mind will probably wander at some point, and you’ll find that you’ll need to re read a sentence over again.

How about driving in your car! You would think you should be really focused, right? But haven’t you suddenly come back to reality, realising that your mind had wandered and you were driving on autopilot? You went through all the motions of steering, changing gear, even turning corners or changing lanes and you weren’t even present!

This is the power of the subconscious mind. It kept us from danger and took us through the motions, but we weren’t present.

How much of our lives are we missing? How many opportunities are going un-noticed every day because our subconscious mind is in the driver’s seat! Making decisions for us based on these non self serving beliefs?

There are honestly countless possibilities that enable us to improve our situation, but we don’t even see them because it isn’t in our subconscious program to change things.

I tell you, the subconscious is more powerful than we’ve ever given it credit for.

This is exactly what we need to take more control over. We need to ensure that our conscious mind isn’t in control of our thoughts. To focus our thoughts on what we’re doing in this present moment, and to pay more attention to what is actually in front of us.

Meditation helps us to do this. To be more present, to be self aware and to live in the moment, which is where we should be at all times! When we focus all of our attention on this moment, we’re not worrying, or planning, or going over an earlier conversation, thinking about the shopping list, what to cook for dinner, what to watch on TV, or over analysing a situation.

We are here, in the now.

Life slows down and we can appreciate, focus and enjoy the task at hand. We feel more at ease, more able to complete tasks to a higher ability, and stress levels are reduced.

Meditation will help you succeed in this. It will strengthen your consciousness and keep you aware.

What is the point of all that worrying anyway? What will be will be. We all know that! No amount of worrying will change the outcome of anything. Live in this moment right now, and let tomorrow take care of itself, tomorrow.

Okay, I’m sure you get the point, and I hope you manage to find a way to practice this. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes a day. You can slowly extend your meditation time as it becomes easier for you.

The best time to meditate is early in the morning when it’s most peaceful and your mind is still in a more restful state.

As meditation becomes a part of your routine. You’ll begin to notice how much more productive you’ve become throughout the day. People in your life will notice the changes in you and will gravitate more towards you as your frequency rises.

When you feel the benefits and can see the results. Meditation will become a valuable part of your new daily lifestyle.

So, enough about meditation. Let’s move on.


The next very important thing you could do if you want to reprogram your subconscious into living the life that you deserve, is to find a mantra, or affirmation.

This should be played in the background as often throughout the day as you can manage while concentrating on your daily tasks. The affirmation shouldn’t be something that you’re aware of during the day. It will be picked up by your subconscious. More importantly, play this at night through headphones when falling asleep.

Positive affirmations will change the belief system of your subconscious mind by completely changing your program.

Good mantras I think are I AM affirmations. I am worthy, I am abundant, I am a loving, caring person. I am the perfect partner for my perfect partner. I am amazing. I am a magnet for money etc.

You can completely change your program. Instead of your subconscious working with it’s limitations, and believing that there will always be only a certain amount of money you can earn, only a certain amount of warmth, love and caring you can receive. From believing that you aren’t worthy, that you aren’t enough. Basically the belief set that you can’t have all the things other people are enjoying. You can now create a new program with unlimited abundance.

These positive affirmations go straight to the subconscious and begin to reset the program.

Play them as often as is possible while focusing on other things throughout the day, but more importantly, play them as you fall asleep at night. This is the best time, because as you fall asleep your brain goes into theta state.

Gratefulness and giving thanks is also very important, as it’s making a statement to the subconscious that you’ve already received these things. It also encourages you to realise the positive things you already have in your life. Take a few minutes each day to think about, appreciate and be thankful for the good things and the good people you already have in your life. It will help with lifting your spirits (vibration).

While listening to your affirmations in bed at night. Picture in your mind already living the lifestyle that you desire. Really imagine what it feels like to have that home, that car, that relationship. The more you practice this, the easier it will become. Feel how it feels to sit in that house, to drive the car, to feel the love. Make it as real as possible in your mind so that your subconscious begins to believe that it’s already a reality.

Your subconscious does not know the difference between reality and a dream. This is fact. Have you ever woken from a nightmare shaking with fear? How real did that bad dream feel? Imprint on your subconscious that you live in that house. See it. Map it out. The lounge, each bedroom, the kitchen etc. See how they look and feel yourself there. Make it as real as you possibly can. The same for a car, and the same for a loving relationship. Imagine receiving love from that person, and giving all of your love to them. Make it real and you’ll make it happen.

To help you understand this better, think about people who have been hypnotised. They do all sorts of crazy stuff believing it to be reality. Their eyes actually see a spider on their arm if they’ve been hypnotised to believe this. There have even been reports of a hypnotist telling someone as he walked towards her that his finger was red hot, and when he touched her arm with his finger, a blister appeared where he touched her.

This is the power of the subconscious mind. Tell it what you want to be your reality and it will work to ensure it is so. It’s designed to do so.

The more vivid the picture, the more feeling you put into it, the quicker it will manifest into your life.

Practice feeling what it is like to already have that lifestyle. It may sound a bit weird and difficult to do, but what you feel as well as think and picture simultaneously, will have the best impact.

This next point is very important.

Do not worry yourself about how the end result is going to come about. Don’t start fretting about how you’re going to come by all the wealth, or meet the love of your life. Your ego (subconscious program) may stop you from manifesting your ideal reality if you allow it to start talking you out of it, and it will try to talk you out of it! Each time you catch yourself telling yourself that this is nonsense, this won’t happen, or any negative thought, be aware. This is your subconscious trying to get you back in the program. Snap out of that thought straight away, smile as widely as you can and laugh at yourself. Remind yourself that YOU are in control of your thoughts and you choose to think positive and uplifting thoughts.

Seriously, it’s not for you to worry about how the end result will come. It’s your subconscious mind’s job to figure out a way for you to come by this. Your subconscious is there to serve you. It only follows the program that has been set, so set the program to be abundant in which ever area you desire and let your subconscious do it’s job.

Allow it to do this for you. All you need to do is keep focusing on the end result. You’ll probably find as the weeks go by and your mindset is changing, that you start coming up with ideas that you hadn’t even thought of before. This is your subconscious giving you opportunities to get to where you want to be.

Depending on your current vibrational frequency, changes will begin to show in your life within only a few short days or over a month or two. The fastest way to see changes is by firmly believing. I mean really believing that it’s your birth right to deserve and attract abundance. Abundance in any form. Be it money, love or happiness or good health. Or all! Positive affirmations will help with this and will raise your vibration. This is why it’s important to play these as often as possible. Soon your subconscious will adopt the new way of thinking and cast off the old beliefs, seeing that they no longer serve you and it will adopt the new belief system.

I stress the importance of believing as this is necessary in order to convert the mindset. We can all imagine, we can dream and we can visualise a better life, but we mustn’t underestimate the power of the subconscious. Firmly placing mental images into the subconscious and backing up these images with emotion, feeling how it feels to have these things will make the subconscious believe them to be real.

To truly believe that it’s your birth right to receive abundance in all forms from the Universe, the subconscious has no choice but to spend all of it’s energy in finding ways of making this happen.

There is no disputing this. It is fact!

Affirmations will help to raise your vibration. The more you repeat the affirmations the happier you will begin to feel.

If you don’t feel comfortable or confident recording your own affirmations, you can find plenty on YouTube to use. But please do use them.

Affirmations are a powerful way of reprogramming the subconscious.

Negative people

Another important step towards changing your life and creating the life you deserve is to take stock of the people you surround yourself with. This can be a difficult process, as it can include close family members and life long friends. However, if there are people in your life with a negative mindset, and by this I mean who are consistently negative, not those who are just going through a tough time, when generally they’re pretty upbeat. You have to seriously think about cutting these negative, energy thieves from your life.

These people suck your positivity. You’ll be able to pick out the culprits in your life. The gossips, those who are always talking about negative stuff, the back stabbers, those who love the drama on the news, watch the soaps on TV. These people resonate at a low vibration. You don’t want to be around these people. If they’re close to you then, yeah I know, you can’t cut them out completely. But you can limit the time you spend in their company. Trust me on this. The less time you spend with them, the higher you’ll resonate.

Try to find uplifting people to be around. People who are more like minded. Who want to improve their life and will support you, and who you can support in return. These people you’ll recognise because they give off a “good vibe”. They’re energetic and positive. Rarely speak badly of others and enjoy learning new things. Make these people your people.

Remember Like attracts Like and this is the way of the Universe!

Be the person who you want to be. Associate more with the type of people who will support you in this. Practice meditating, listen to affirmations. You have an infinite amount of power inside you that’s been there since birth. Start realising that power!

Try to limit your time on technology.


Feel and believe that you already have the thing you desire.

Be thankful.

Be more mindful.

Listen to positive affirmations.

Limit being around negative people.

Believe in yourself! and remind yourself every day that you have immense inner power, capable of transforming your beliefs, your health and your world from the ordinary to the extraordinary. There is nothing that you cannot do.

I hope you find benefit in this reading and go on to have a very prosperous and happy life.

Tenerifé through my eyes.

I moved to Tenerifé in 1999 with my two youngest sons and my partner. I had never set foot on the island before, so it really was a huge step to make. We had friends who already lived there and had been heckling us to make the move for some time.

As it was becoming more and more difficult to make a living here on this small island, we decided to go for it.

What’s the worst that could happen, right?

We moved into a duplex on Amarilla golf. A golf course by the sea, and not too far from the South airport, Reina Sofía. My partner found work quickly and the kids spent their days playing around the pool and the golf course. We didn’t have a lot of money to spare, but life was definitely looking up.

After 4 months and at the end of Summer and the school holidays, we moved again to a Spanish village, Las Rosas. The boys went to the small, village school where they were taught to speak Spanish and I could go and find work. The public transport system is really good, so it was no problem for me and I soon found a job as a waitress. Our life was set.

Ready for school.

The boys made friends quickly. The island is multi cultural, with people from many countries, so it was great for the kids to integrate and also not feel like the only foreigners in town.

I also began making friends and soon I felt at home. Life was easy. On days off from work we would go down to the seaside town Las Galletas, just a few minutes walk down the road from the village where we lived.

We would snorkel in the rock pools when the tide was out, and see the most beautiful, colourful fish in shoals as they came right up to our face peering at us before turning tail and dashing off, quick as a flash.

We ate ice cream from the local bars and the boys would have turns on little Go Karts being rented out.

We’d also go on adventures around the island in our rented car. We rented it by the month at a pretty decent price.

We ventured up the mountainous, winding road, through pine forests and spectacular scenery to Mount Teide, the local volcano. It really is an amazing trip, and the views all around really are spectacular. On a clear day, you can see all the other Canary islands.

We sometimes came down again by a different route, never really knowing where we would end up. On these days, we visited Puerto De La Cruz, a coastal town in the north west, and a popular town with tourists. A beautiful town with some great colonial architecture, a stunning Lido for swimming, beaches and a really peaceful tree lined town square where you can enjoy a café in the shade while people watching, and enjoying watching children as they play in the little play park. All the while small, green parrots flit from palm tree to palm tree above your head.

I do like Puerto De La Cruz. It’s also home of Loro Park https://www.loroparque.com/index.php/en/ which is definitely a great family day out not to be missed if visiting the island.

One day after visiting the volcano, we found our way to Icod De Los Vinos. Another north westerly town and apparently home to the oldest tree in the world. The tree is of the type drago trees, or dragon trees.

I encouraged my youngest son to eat broccoli by telling him it was baby drago trees, and strangely it worked. He grew up loving broccoli.

It was an interesting day and the only time I’ve visited. I remember a street with caves, and local people in traditional dress, encouraging us into each cave to taste home made licquores and cheeses.

On another day we found our way to Orotava. A town high up the mountain, and as luck would have it, on the day of an annual festival where street artists made enormous, colourful and amazingly good images of biblical paintings with coloured sand.

There’s so much to see on the island, and so much more to still explore. I just can’t wait to get back there with a driver’s license and my camera.

Life was as it should be. A mixture of working to earn a living, school life for the boys and maintaining stability at home

As the years passed though, my partner sadly became more and more fond of the cheap Spanish vino, and to cut a long story short, it became too dangerous to continue living with him. For my own sanity and preservation, and of course for the safety and sanity of my sons….

The boys and I came back to Scotland.

Trying to upgrade.

I finished work at 8pm this evening, looking forward to coming home and upgrading from Blog to website.

Oh, if only life were that straightforward. Sigh.

It’s now 22.39pm and I’m no further forward. this web building malarky’s going to take a bit of investigation!

I know I can find a coupon code before I commit to pay, but none of them work. Of course we all know what will happen if I go ahead and pay without the code. Yeah, as soon as I hit pay, a new code will become available. Am I being tight? Probably. But I don’t earn megabucks and need to save a few bob where I can.

(Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated)

I’m planning on going Premium as I want to add videos to my page at some point.

I’ve given up for the night though, and so, I’ll just write a little instead. Afterall, this is the point of it all.

So, a bit more about me perhaps.

I currently work on the social media team for a well known European airline. On Facebook and Twitter. It can be fun, and it can also be a total nightmare. It’s certainly diverse.

I also take staff travel calls. This involves airline staff and their families and friends calling in to make changes to current bookings. Changing their flights and adding hold bags mainly.

The stories I could tell! But not tonight. maybe after I’ve moved away and am at a safe distance!

I’ve recently completed a training course, which now sees me as a subject matter expert in persons with reduced mobility. For the purpose of special assistance at airports you understand.

Mainly, I enjoy my work, but still I feel unsettled here. I have to leave.

I hope I’m not boring you.

In my personal life, I have 3 grown up sons who I love very much obviously, but they all have their own lives now and I must get on with mine.

I’ve travelled extensively and loved every minute of it.

I’ve backpacked around China, Peru, New Zealand, Indonesia and Cambodia. I’ve lay on stunning beaches in Thailand and Sardinia, and been stoned in the street in Marrakesh.

(Stoned, as in I’ve had big stones thrown at me by a child who put his hand out for money after I’d given the rest of my currency to all the beggars in the streets and had no more to give. Not stoned on weed!)

I’ve walked the streets of Venice many times, and found my way around New York, but I’m an island girl at heart. Cities are a curiosity for a short visit but I much prefer open spaces and being close to the sea.

Over time I’ll share my experiences of my trips with some words of wisdom and some photos.

The world is full of adventure and I’m restless to get back in amongst it.

The big day approacheth.

Hi all.

Well, I decided I’d start writing a blog as I have a life changing moment approaching in roughly 4 weeks time, and if the outcome of that is as I hope, another, probably even bigger life changing moment will follow soon after.

The first life changing experience will be passing my driving test. You have no idea just how ecstatic I’ll feel WHEN I pass! I’ve sat my test twice before, a good few years ago now and sadly failed. But, this time, this time I feel much more confident with who I am and I’m ready and determined to pass.

The second Life changing experience will be my big move back to Tenerifé in The canary islands. I need to pass my test before I move back. I’ve promised myself this and it’s a challenge I must win before the next big step. My life will be so much easier if I can drive, not to mention the opportunities that having a car will also bring. So, fingers crossed all goes well.

I’ve always felt more at home in Tenerifé than I do here in Scotland for some strange reason. I grew up here on this small island, but never really felt like I belonged. We moved here when I was very young from Edinburgh, so maybe that has something to do with it. I really don’t know, but strangely, in Tenerife I feel more at peace with myself, like I belong there. I lived there twice before for a number of years and now it’s time for me to go home.

This is just an introduction to my story as I start up this new site, so I’ll leave it here for tonight.

To be continued…..